23, November 2012
THE SON:
God, watching the run-through of the score to my dad’s show was quite amazing. It was epic, hearing all the songs I know so well finally coming together with the cast singing and the band playing and everyone involved is sensational. In particular the drummer. He is a real talent. I cannot wait to see the show on the opening night and I’m so excited about all of it. I met all the cast and the director, producer, everyone and they’re all top people.
Anyway, it was a good time in London. I was quite sad to leave the city that I have lived in most of my life. One night is not enough for me. Even walking to Borough station with dad after the run-through was special. Looking up and seeing The Shard all lit up right in front of me and the rest of the City skyline glittering against the black winter sky was special. I love walking about London in the winter when it’s cold and gets dark by 4pm. Nothing beats it. Wrapped up in nice big coats and wearing gloves, it’s definitely my favourite time of year.
Dad and I walked to my Uncle’s place in Chalk Farm where I was staying, then we went and had a curry, not in our usual as it was fully booked but in the Fleet Tandoori where we were the only patrons. It was a funny evening, having dinner with Dad and Uncle, and the banter flowed.
I love this city so much and miss it whenever I leave it but it holds so many dangers for me personally. The temptations are vast and so many different areas of London are linked to specific memories connected to my drug use, that it’s nearly impossible not to think about any of that wherever I go in London, for example when I’m on the tube, all I have to see is the name of a certain station on the map and that conjures up an image of meeting a dealer or getting high at so & so’s or using a toilet in a pub or coffee house to have a blast or shot.
I swear I could write “The Good Loo Guide: London Edition” as a comprehensive list of the best toilets in all of Greater London to get high in. Which ones have proper doors that close for privacy, which ones are far away enough from the serving counters so you can rip tin foil and not be heard, which ones have good extractor fans and disabled smoke alarms, which ones have easy street access so you can hopefully slip into the restaurant/pub/cafe and into the loo without being noticed. Starbucks is the safest option. They always have nice clean single toilets where you can go about your mischief in relative peace and normally the baristas are always so busy with the constant stream of caffeine-heads that they don’t even notice you going in.
Anyway, whenever I’m in London, no matter where I am, I will pass some place that I’ve used in and it obviously triggers those memories but I have to maintain this sense of relief and optimism because that’s what keeps everything at bay.
Being a drug addict in London has certainly given me a sterling sense of direction if nothing else. (Shit, I’m glad I benefitted in SOME way from being a junkie).
THE MOM:
I can happily report that Alex was indeed on the 2:00pm train back home to the country, despite the allure of big city toilets.