29, October 2012
THE SON:
I look back at my early school years to try and find some signs of any form of addiction. I always loved playing sport and would always stay in the playground playing football at any free time i had but thats what most prep-school boys would do. I have always wanted more of anything that made me feel good, like most people would, but be it McDonalds Chicken Nuggets, Pogs, Go-gos, football stickers, video games (Pro-evo and Fifa), clothing, shoes, sweets I would become excessive and obsessive about it. I had to have 10x the normal amount. Maybe its because I was a spoilt, only child but more likely because I had addictive behaviour early on. This behaviour is still running rife today but I have started to control it.
When I was using drugs, I could never settle for just £40’s worth. I always had to buy as much as I could. Same with booze. Always had to have another double whiskey or pint. Even with a trivial thing like a TV programme. I was never content with just watching one or two episodes. I stayed up all night and finished the entire season, sacrificing a night’s sleep to so (Twin Peaks being the latest to add to my endless list of completed shows).
One sure realisation is that if a young person has a rebellious streak in them i.e. messing about in class and disputing all forms of authority, I truly believe this transcends into being much more curious and open to trying drugs. I look at my friends and all of the ones who are wreck-heads, not necessarily heroin or crack users, but just general party-drug users, have either been expelled or suspended for something or other whilst they were at school. Obviously there are exceptions and a lot of people I know who did well at school and never got into trouble have used recreational drugs and continue to do so with no problems but it took them until they were at university to try the drugs rather than at prep school.
I am an obvious example of my point, having been suspended multiple times and eventually expelled, and unfortunately for myself, the combination of having an addictive personality early on in life, and also having an excessive amount of curiosity, led to me trying heroin, and therefore, turned me into a full blown heroin addict.
Everyone has their own theory about what causes addiction and why but I think only the addict themselves can truly work it out why he/she was dealt this deadly card in life.
THE MOM:
A comment on the above. I saw the behaviour Alex describes from Day One, even as a toddler. The intense curiosity. The complete focus on a toy, a task. But I was proud. I thought it was a good thing. Well you would, wouldn’t you. What, puzzles or Transformers or Mutant Ninja Turtles are going to lead to heroin addiction?? Yeah. Right.
Re: his behavior in class. He started out fine. They loved him in nursery. Good as gold. And in Kindergarten. I would say it was about Year 3 when we realised his role models were not the fine upstanding A-Star students, no, Alex admired the cheeky ones, the boys being reprimanded all the time and soon joined them. The phone would ring.
“Mrs. King? This is Penny from Arnold House. I’m sorry but there’s been an incident involving a (you name it).”
The Laser Pen Incident. The Pen with a Naked Lady On It Incident. The Gold Mark Cross Pen Of Mine He Took To School And Lost Incident. (There’s pen addiction??)
Other stuff.
Alex wasn’t easy. But then, I suspect, neither am I.
Heh, we were taught “drugs are bad” in Sixth Grade. Circa 1976. Had the opposite effect for me.
Marijuana, definitely had to try. Same with cocaine. Psychedelics? Yes please. The only one I was dissuaded from was heroin. In part because we got the NYC local tv news, which would broadcast interviews with heroin addicts.
Yuck.
Cocaine was too expensive, so rare for me. Psychedelics, recovery was too long. Settled on pot.
Until after 20 years I got bored and quit. Maybe 2001.
Pretty sure to this day my parents have no clue.
Great insights on Alex's part. Here's praying that, ten years on, he still has the ability for deep introspection. Show's he has the access to his right hemisphere so necessary to deal with addiction.